Recently I spoke to a friend about writing, specifically poetry. A couple of verses I wrote came to mind, verses I feel define me:
my blood is a mix of coffee & tea
and words from authors long dead
I wondered, how much of me is made of the words of authors long dead? Where do their voices end so mine can begin?
The question hit me because I’ve been trying my hand at poetry. Perhaps this is a case of Poet’s Block (a new phenomena to me) but when I try tapping into my deepest emotions–I rarely find words.
It’s easier for me to write poems about quarrels with my muse. I’m a creative being, but I don’t have secrets to spin poetry from–it’s all about writing, arguing with the elusive muse. I wonder if somehow I’ve set myself aside.
How do I absorb every book I read without canceling myself out? I’d already set this year aside as one for self-reflection; I know a writer is a thousand people in one, but it feels like I’ve made my own voice less audible.
It’s why I’ve gone back to keeping a journal. The root of the problem might be that I hadn’t kept a journal for the entirety of 2015. Journals help us keep in touch with our inner selves.
I know there’s a person in me aside from the books I write, because I encounter her in my old journals.
A writer might be a thousand people in one, but there’s still the soul who types the story. Things we read and experience shape a unique voice. In a bizarre way, I’m eager to find out what I have to say.
How can we use our unique voices if we don’t know what they sound like? There’s no problem living by truths taught in books–that’s what they’re for, and one of the reasons they’re beautiful!–but. As people, we are unique and have new truths to tell.
Keep a journal–you’ll learn so much about yourself, and years later will be glad you made the effort!
Mariella Hunt 
I’ve never been much of a personal journaler, personally. I find it immensely difficult to write out my emotions and thoughts and such consistently–I’ve tried, because so many people say it’s so amazing and so helpful and OMG how do you creative without it?, but it has never worked for me. It’s much easier for my to write something else–story ideas, snippets od dialogue that come to me, character sketches, fanciful descriptions, and the like. That tends to be my brand of journalling.
Sometimes, there’s a day when I need to rant, but I rarely write that down.
and words from authors long dead
I can relate to that! Since i kept track of bookes i have read, i noticed 70% are by dead people :/ so im resolving to read more contemporary books, try and stay with the times.
Such an interesting post! I just started journalling again (I’ve done it on and off over the years since I was a kid but never keep a really consistent one). I just read an article on Virginia Woolf and why she thought it beneficial to keep a diary. Ever since then, I’ve been much more intentional and eager to write in my journal. Here’s the link if you’re interested: https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/01/25/virginia-woolf-on-keeping-a-diary/