I will never write enough
The Sun is setting;
Roots of trees
Creep ‘round my
Tired bones.
All the Nymphs have
Bowed their heads—
The Daisy and
The Rose.
Calling me,
They ask for help—
Or ask for me
To come
With them to Sleep
Until the spring,
For they and I
Are one.
Leaves will change
From green to gold,
Like they do every year—
But I cannot
Watch them crisp
Without shedding a tear.
The cricket-chorus
Will be gone,
Our bushes will be still.
When frost sets in,
Ice-cold like death,
I will absorb the chill.
Even lovely things
Need sleep
To flourish in the day.
Flowers bow
Their graceful heads,
And I wish they would stay.
Two broken souls met
On the road less traveled.
One longed to forget
That he’d come unraveled.
The other soul, aching,
Cursed up at the sky.
Her every step shaking,
She cried out, “Why?”
Their paths met at last,
And the silence was loud.
Their breath came out fast
In the frost, forming cloud.
Walk alone in your pain,
And you might think it fair.
Meet a soul, and it’s plain:
You were going nowhere.
Stars above flash in their envy;
The Stream below’s crying out loud.
Even the Lady Moon turns away,
Concealing her face in a shroud.
A body of crimson Trees shiver.
Cricket-song rises, protest!
An ancient Wood full of enchantment
Knows no spell to give it rest.
Are these the days of Beginning–
Or is it the start of the End?
We could not comprehend the green,
But let us now pretend.
Why would a Firefly flicker,
Or a Vining-plant tangle in plight?
Were they not made in perfection?
Wouldn’t their burden be light?
What has a Flower to pine for?
What makes Stars fall from above?
Perhaps the answer is simple:
In their beauty, they want Love.
What am I going to do when the season ends and my flowers begin to die?
How will I cope when I go outside in the morning and, instead of seeing a new darling has bloomed, I find the stalks becoming dry and crinkly—these gentle plants that brought butterflies and bees and joy to my days?
I have a grudge against death and its habit of taking things. I know it’s unreasonable and part of me believes death is not the end. But usually all I feel is fear that the end will come.
Now it’s a flower, later a loved one. Eventually, it will be all of us. Let’s hope we inspire people to plant new flowers in the years to come.
Recently I learned that a friend with whom I had been very close a few years ago died suddenly. I don’t know the details and don’t think I could handle getting into them. It has unearthed a whole new set of emotions in me, things I had only read about before in books.
There’s the personal shame, the wish that I had been a better friend and not lost contact. It storms with the logical bit of me which says there is no way I can keep in touch with everyone all the time, that sometimes friends drift apart because life works that way.
There are the echoes. In the days since learning of her passing, I’ve found myself remembering almost every conversation we ever had—vividly. Scraps of advice about hair care and whether a certain artist could sing. Memories of that time we bonded over an online game. And when we agreed that a book we had both read wasn’t so great after all.
I remember music she had recommended to me and know that those songs will never be the same again. At this moment, Whisper by A Fine Frenzy comes to mind—with the haunting lyrics I’m down to a whisper / In a daydream / On a hill… It has always been a beautiful song but now it takes on new significance.
Every soul matters. Every friend does, too. It doesn’t matter if you only ever met them online—now I know that, when you learn they are gone, it hurts all the same. It’s confusing at first, and then emotions come flooding in, and you find yourself wishing to go back to that summer a few years ago…just for a while.
Take care of your friends. If ever you feel the nagging sense to say hello, or suddenly remember their birthday, don’t waste a chance. Take care of yourself because people do care about you. And—I would do well to learn this—if you lose someone, it fixes nothing to blame yourself.
I don’t know the details, but I do know we will never chat again, and that song will most certainly make me tear up for the rest of my life. Take care of your friends, even if they seem fine—and take care of yourself.
